(Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.) Concealeds are the most clever, cunning forms of narcissists. They hide behind their impeccable images of pseudo empathy, self effacement, even holiness.
These individuals fool a lot of clinical professionals even while they are in treatment when their marriages have gone awry. Concealeds pretend like they want to work on and save the marriage. On some occasions they convince the couples therapist that the other party is to blame for the failure of the marriage and flips him or her to their point of view. (This post refers to male and female narcissists).
Concealed narcissists are everywhere. Some are found in spiritual groups and churches. The spiritual narcissist is a special breed who is masterful at deceit. These individuals magnetize others to them with their pseudo empathy, fake thoughtfulness and persuasion of their devotion to your well being and spiritual growth. There are numerous narcissistic spiritual teachers who fool their followers, take their money, brain wash those closest to them and tell outright harmful lies camouflaged with empty promises. Beneath the holy surface, it is always about them and what they want and must have to fill their psychological emptiness with constant narcissistic supplies of praise, adulation and respect.
Most important—Don’t blame yourself for being fooled by a concealed narcissist. This happens to the most experienced clinical experts.
Practice self care each day. Putting yourself first is not selfish; it is essential. It is possible that if you have been raised by narcissists you may not understand that you are entitled to lead your life with deep inner peace, to have loving and caring relationships that are authentic and to claim and manifest the full use of your many creative gifts.
Self care takes many forms. Get the sleep to which you are entitled; exercise your way; pay very close attention to and act upon your intuitive insights; make friendships only with those who are worthy of your trust; discover a way for you to quiet the body/mind through meditation, prayer or some other form of slowing the thinking process, write spontaneously each day even if this is a few sentences. This stokes the creative process.
Be kind to yourself at all times.