(SNN) Stalkers are not made of one cloth. Some of them are psychopaths, others are schizoids, narcissists, paranoids, or an admixture of these mental health disorders. Stalkers harass their victims because they are lonely, or because it is fun (these are latent sadists), or because they can’t help it (clinging or co-dependent behaviour), or for a myriad different reasons.
Clearly, coping techniques suited to one type of stalker may backfire or prove to be futile with another. The only denominator common to all bullying stalkers is their pent-up rage. The stalker is angry at his or her targets and hates them. He perceives his/her victims as unnecessarily and churlishly frustrating. The aim of stalking is to “educate” the victim and to punish him/her.
Hence the catch-22 of coping with stalkers:
The standard — and good — advice is to avoid all contact with your stalker, to ignore him/her, even as you take precautions. But being evaded only inflames the stalker’s wrath and enhances his frustration. The more he/she feels sidelined and stonewalled, the more persistent he/she becomes, the more intrusive and the more aggressive.
It is essential, therefore, to first identify the type of abuser you are faced with.