The Narcissistic Family
(Hub Pages) Have you ever been close to someone who you believed was as good as gold for years and years only to eventually have had the mask of sanity unveil itself to discover that they were actually the single-most crafty, manipulative, devious, deceitful and deceptive outright liar that you had ever met?
A person who has the whole world around them fooled by their pure-seeming exterior; no-one knows that their facade was never real. Someone who has successfully been taking advantage of, and manipulating the people around them, for years on end without any of the victims even having a clue that it was happening.
The victims may have suffered but the narcissist or sociopath has had them permanently fooled, they would be the last person the victims could ever dream of being capable of such deceit, it would be outlandish.
It appears to the victims of the narcissist or sociopath that even the nearest and dearest of the narcissist’s family members are fooled by their natural and genuine-seeming false exterior. The narcissist plays the victim sucking on the empathy of the people closest to them, in order to manipulate them into covering up their own lies and deceit. Whilst this may be true to a certain extent it’s also likely that there are probably a few family members who know how just how deceitful they can really be but at the end of the day blood is thicker than water and you cannot choose your family.
The people closest to the narcissist or sociopath will have been actively helping them abuse their victim(s) and their dirtiest, darkest secrets often remain concealed, hidden for decades whilst they carry out their reverse psychology propaganda gradually destroying the lives of their victims in the background, behind the scenes.
“What they don’t know won’t hurt them”
“You will believe my lies because they are the truth… they are my truth”
“I never said or did that, you’re making it up”
“Treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen”
“You’re paranoid it’s all in your head”
are all examples of narcissistic ideology. This defense mechanism has evolved over several years of exposure to negative subjective experiences (abuse) and is often a result of being brought up as part of a family that uses such defense mechanisms to protect themselves from potential abusers. Even the wife or husband of a narcissist or sociopath will be subject to these defenses. However, it’s not uncommon for mental, emotional, physical and even sexual abuse to be existent within such families but there seems to also be a kind of universal law within these families. They often turn a blind eye to each others tactics and successfully use manipulative techniques to regulate their self-esteem; it acts as a psychological ascension of self-worth making them feel less inferior within society.
They manipulate people outside of their inner circle keeping them at arm’s length and have very little respect for authority, usually viewing people such as police officers and those employed within the justice system as the enemy (even if they have not committed a crime).
Narcissistic and sociopathic family members use and manipulate each other and hide each other’s secrets whilst simultaneously spring-boarding off each other. The family often have their own invisible web of lies, distortions and deceit which remains at a level above (or below) the heads of everyone around them, remaining outside of their perception.
The members of the sociopathic or narcissistic family protect each other’s lies because, according to their skewed and distorted values and beliefs, that’s what they are there for. Although this twisted logic may be present throughout the entire family, it will most likely only be to the extent of a full-scale personality disorder in just a few of those related members, although others can display similar characteristics.
Paternity fraud intentionally being covered up long-term by such a family is the perfect example of narcissistic/sociopathic abuse. Everyone who condoned the act have all victimized the innocent supposed father, who has inevitably and ultimately been conspired against.
Genetic Or Psychological?
There are currently two schools of thought regarding the cause of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (and other similar disorders). Due to EEG’s showing a lack of activity in the parts of the brain responsible for empathy, shame, guilt and conscience many researchers blame the personality disorders on a genetic defect. However, psychology and genetics actually affect each other in the same way that the conscious and subconscious mind feed each other with information, therefore the genetic defect could be a result of the ongoing ideology within such families and/or vice versa.
Within the psychological community it is well known that most narcissists and sociopaths have been subject to childhood abuse, sexual childhood abuse in a lot of cases, therefore psychologists tend to lean towards the belief that the disorder is actually a defense mechanism which has structured and evolved over many years, in order to deal with the abuse; it’s a defense mechanism which has become malignant in the mind of the narcissistic person.
Using psychological methods to attempt to “undo” such a defense mechanism can cause detrimental changes unless the entire structural foundation of that defense mechanism is wholly and fully understood, for each individual inflicted with NPD. Attempting to delve down into the subconscious roots of this defense mechanism can be extremely dangerous.
At the other end of the spectrum being overly smothered and spoiled during upbringing is still a form of abuse, though it is seldom seen as such and can still lead to a malignancy of narcissism. This form of abuse can also lead a child into co-dependency, as everything they ever needed has been catered for and they have come to rely and depend on those around them in order to live their lives but their parents/guardians (ie sources of narcissistic supply) are not going to be around forever. This type of abuse can lead a person into becoming what is currently known as an inverted narcissist, or co-narcissism. However, a diagnosis of Co-Dependent Personality Disorder is also possible.
It is known that malignant narcissism generally breeds more malignant narcissism, therefore the trait is abundant within narcissistic families who have been brought up believing the ideology and abuse to be a normal thing. The fact that the part of the brain dealing with empathy and conscience is inactive does not necessarily indicate that the disorder must be genetic.
It has already been scientifically proven that not utilizing certain parts of the brain causes them to die off and become inactive anyway. This inactivity is most likely ultimately the result of the taught ideology within such families.
Narcissists and sociopaths are usually highly charismatic and very genuine-seeming people, yet they will walk over everybody in the background, behind the scenes, outside of their awareness, outside of their perception. Many narcissists and sociopaths are highly successful because of their traits and it’s inevitable that such people will end up sucking and leeching on each other whilst attempting to manipulate and fool each other in the process, whilst simultaneously using each other to springboard their way to the top during the course of their invisible battle.
This is why so many narcissists and sociopaths are at the top of the pyramid in secret societies and the corporate sector.
They are ruthless.